After only 5 years of marriage, Starr and Bob were going to get a divorce- their imprints were so different that they couldn't communicate. They were highly effective teaching and preaching on the mission field and then would come home and fight like cats and dogs. Friends invited them to attend a graduation night, they listened to the testimonies of other couples who had learned how to get along with each other and then decided to sign up that night. They said that if this didn't work, they would go their separate ways. After completing the entire 13-week class series, three times, their marriage began to heal, and they decided to use this experience to help other couples. This urged the couple to become group leaders themselves for The University of the Family.
Starr and Bob held the 13-week Married Life course, two to three times a year in their own curriculum which they have been teaching for a total of 38 years they really mean it when they say that they work for God, because God saved their marriage.
MARRIAGE 101 MINISTRIES in San Antonio, Texas, is a nonprofit ministry that provides valuable marriage classes and counseling to married couples and those who have been together for many years. The founders of MARRIAGE 101 are Starr and Bob Calo-oy.
Starr and Bob have been married for 40 years and are proud parents of 10 children.
Paying It Forward
The ministry work we do is an offshoot of Starr and Bob's successful resolution of the marriage issues they faced many years ago. After suffering through a strife-laden married life, the couple began attending marriage classes, upon the suggestion of well-meaning friends.
After completing 14-week classes three times, their marriage began to take a positive turn and eventually became a truly harmonious one. This urged the couple to become group leaders for The University of the Family.
Starr and Bob held 14-week marriage classes through The Married for Life course, two to three times a year in their own home, for 20 years. Then they branched out teaching from their own curriculum and have been doing so for the past 15 years making a total of 35 years in marriage ministry. This is our ministry's way paying it forward; by helping other couples make their marriages work.
Personal letter from Bob & Starr
For the past 38 years, we have been providing our classes and counseling free of charge. Marriage seminars around the country can cost you 300.00-2500.00 for a weekend, but we wanted to make this extremely affordable to you. Every person on earth has a mission mandated from God, our Creator. Ours is helping married couples become One-Flesh and stay away. The making of two into one isn't easy and we know that most people need help to be successful. You don't simply get married and have hearts, flowers and butterflies every day for the remainder of your life!
Our own marriage isn't perfect either. We still fuss with each other, but the recovery time grows shorter every year. Bob and I need these classes just like you do. As we teach, we learn and apply principles too. We have been learning how to be married for almost 40 years now and we still aren't through yet!
We are STILL learning new things about each other every year. Tastes, ideas, feelings, opinions, beliefs, standards, desires, rules and interests change every year, so we must learn and adjust. Many of our couples have said over the years that until the classes, they had never known their spouse thought or felt like they did!
Conflicts can arise when we are so consumed with our careers and other outside influences and issues that we do not take the time to be together and communicate these changes. The lack of communication builds up and we are no longer in sync. Since we started writing 38 years ago, people have expressed their surprise when they learn that you don't just go through premarital classes and that's it.
Marriage really does take work. Every day you must work at it to make it better. Marriage classes are not to be taken once or only when your marriage is in trouble; it's an ongoing process, so if you want an excellent marriage, take classes! It's much better to do regular maintenance on your relationship than to have to try to repair a broken one.
You are not the same person mentally, physically, or spiritually than you were last year, are you? Well, your marriage isn't either it grows and changes into a new and different kind of marriage every month, every year! Doesn't it make sense that you need to re-adjust your communication methods on a regular basis? That's why everyone, regardless of the state of their relationship, should be attending marriage classes, every year as often as possible, if they want to get and stay closer to each other.
We are developing new curriculum every year to keep it fresh and offer a different series each time based on a poll we take of counseling topics so that we keep current. You need all of them.
High quality marriage counseling at no charge is almost impossible to find, but Bob & I are on this planet because we have a calling from God to provide this to couples in need. Even if you think your marriage is doing fine, don't you agree, you can add a little zing to it by learning some more communication techniques and pick up a few tips?
Resolve today to continue your marriage education its free and it's necessary. There is nothing more important than this for you to have a successful and happy life. We hope you join us!