Quincy & Tasha Todd
From the first moment Quincy & I laid eyes on each other, we knew that we were meant to spend the rest of our lives together. Initially we couldn’t seem to get it right, however we know God knows best and we live by his timing. We tried to force a relationship; we separated and eventually came back together. This time around we have grown and matured in so many ways. Quincy and I have made a vow before God and our loved ones to spend the rest of our lives together. Just like anything else, practice makes perfect.
We were referred to Marriage 101 (Starr & Bob) classes by a close friend. We were both very reluctant about taking the class, because we felt we knew exactly what we were doing this time and we didn’t need help. Something in our spirit moved us to try it out and see how it goes. Outside of choosing one another, taking this class is one of the many great decisions we have made.
Quincy and I have learned to romance one another all over again. We have discovered underlying issues that may have caused problems later on in our marriage, but learned to come together and work them out.
We celebrated our 1 year anniversary (7/14/13) and I strongly believe these classes made our first year smooth sailing. Everyday is not always smiles and fun times and we don’t always agree. Marriage 101 has taught us to work through those days in prayer and a loving way. Praying in our house has become a daily task without even thought. Our faith in God & knowledge has grown to another level. Marriage 101 with Starr & Bob has strengthened our marriage along with our friendship with one another. I would recommend this class to anyone who wants to be married/already married or thinking about divorce. Starr & Bob genuinely care and we feel we have formed a Christian relationship with them and look forward to taking other classes.
Testimony By An Anonymous Student January 2017
Mrs. Starr, thank you and Mr.Bob so, so much for your help. Sorry we could not finish the marriage counseling classes. We are having a very difficult time with our work schedules and finding a baby sitter. It was actually adding tension to our situaton.
BUT what happened was a God given miracle and we owe you guys a HUGE thank you. So, we were living separately and it was touch and go. We were not intimate or really together. Once we started the classes with you guys, we got a little bit of understanding, but the distance was still overwhelming and a distraction. So, we left you guys we got a little bit of understanding, but the distance was still overwhelming and a distraction. So, we left you guys and we went from 3% invested in our marriage to about 75%. Soon after, it dropped to roughly 50-40% and almost looked like a total disaster.
Somehow, we tried and she started "spending the night" at the house on weekends. We tried and tried but the "connections" was gone and the intimacy was vacant due to emotional blockage from the pain and the thoughts of infidelity, so to speak. It was more so me, not being able to accept that after 16-17 months of separation she had been intimate with any other person.
But the breakthrough came when I learned, from your teaching, that because I had also been with other people, how could i judge her? you taught me to understand how and why she was the way she was or though the way she did; the teaching you did on imprints. I also learned to understand myself. I truly believe you guys laid a foundation of understanding that helped me see things on an entirely different level.
We had a few nights of laughing, crying , talking and opening up on a level we had Never done in 5 years of marriage and 24 years of being together. The Great news is that now, her and the kids are living with me again and we are doing so,so,so SO MUCH better.
We are about to 88%-90% better and have open communication and understanding. Our lives are totally different, thanks to God and you two. We don't fight verbally like before, and it's easier to put myself in her shoes and vice-versa thanks to what you guys helped us with.
So sorry for the disappearance, but it was better and ended up helping us. We owe you guys so much appreciation. We are talking about renewing our vows and having a ceremony soon and I'd like to invite you guys. I really appreciate you and Mr.Bob very much. Thanks again and God Bless.
Irene and I had been in a relationship for four years before our world came to a halting crash in April of this year-2017. We met years ago but hadn't had any contact with each other for several years when i made a fateful phone call whatever reason, we had not sought out a relationship.
Then, I called her in Feb 2013, we got together, realized we loved each other and our intentions were to have the last relationship of our lives- We thought because we had "known" each other for so long, that it would be easy to live together and make a happy home from what we both could bring into the relationship.
As the first year passes, our vast differences came to the surface, causing regualar verbal conflict. The argumentas and differences in opinion became more and more intense. We attempted to downgrade each subsequent " explosion of emotions" but to not avail.
The months and years went by as we sugar- coated each verbal confrontation. Our way of dealing with them was with the attitude. " Okay, that's done and now let's move on'', but we really didn't resolve anything. All that we were doing was piling up the reasons and justifications, so we could pull them out later to hammer each other with again when new differences of opinion came up.
Finally, in April of 2017, the confrontations became so unpleasant, so unbearable, that we both decided that enough was enough. We hardly agree on anything leading up to that day-- we both saw that is was impossible to be in a relationship with each other because of the growing anger and resentment and the fact that we could not understand each other in even the most minute things came up.
So, Irene moved out and we were suddenly both on our own. The main issue that we both realized that caused the break was that we could not, did not have any communications skills. We did not know how to verbally address each other in a kind of manner, so we could not connect.
Although we loved each other and wanted to be together, we had hurt each other to the point that it was better to live without each other then to stay and be part of a relationship that was so UP and DOWN. It was draining us of energy and our love was dying.
I believe that Irene had to change her ways. She believed the same about my having to change. There was no other option! We found ourselves at a stalemate. Little did we know that blaming each otehr was the worst thing to do.
After what seemed like years, (Actually, it was approximately 5 months of sherr torment without her by my side) we reached out to each other again. We realized that we still loved each toher very much, and both knew that if we got back together without seeking help, we would have the same result as before. Neither of us had anhy fuel left in our love tanks and we did not want to go thru another round of hurt and anguish, so Irene made it mandatory that we seek couseling before we got back together again.
I was skeptical at first, but i was lost without her at my side. So i agreed to counseling. We both looked and compared counseling sitesand then Irene found Marriage 101. Net. Irene called and made appointments for the two of use to begin classes with Bob and Starr Calo-oy and a marvelous transformation followed!! Starr and Bob have done such a Super job in our counseling that we a re practically new people, in a very positive manner.. We were instantly impressed by the methods Bob and Starr utilized to get us to understand our inner feelings through their teachings on impritns. They prayed for us from the beginning, which instantly made us feel soooo good.
They taught in a small ( 10 groups) setting and set it up at ease to know that we weren't the only couple having problems. It had never occured to either of us that the one person that must change is oneself and neither of use were to blame. Bob and Starr helped us start to see each other as a person to have compassion for, like Jesus does. That both of us needed to be healed emotionally, mentally and spiritually and spiritually. The one-on one couple counseling we received was just awesome! It healed so many aread that had long been deeply rooted in both of us.
They also taught us the skills to use that they provided with out free counseling sessions, sometimes lasting as long as three hours ata time, so that we could understand and be thoughtful of each other. Bob and Starr have transformed us into loving, caring, understanding, sweet hearts; soon to be married, and do this ( relationship) God's way this time! The combination of the counseling and classes with marriage 101, our future is now bright and very promising. I have the upmost gratitiude. Bob and Starr not only saved our relationship-- but has made it stronger, better and more loving and considerate than i ever thought possible.
Thanks to all the prayers, their understanding of our issues and their experience and knowledge on how to solve our problems God's way, according to His Word, we are well on the way to a blissful life together. Irene and i will attend more sessions to better our lives, because we love the methods and tenderness that Bob and Starr have shown us. Irene initially told me that she was proud of me for agrring to counseling and receiving the help i so desperately needed to become the man of God i was meant to be.
Thank you Bob and Starr for everything--- words cannot express how grateful we are, but the smilies on our faces can---and the newfound love and respect that we have for each other and ourselved through future classes and ongoing counseling. We have already "fixed" ourselves to some degree; the daily good feelings are powerful, soothing and so enjoyable. We aren't though yet, we are continuing our journey with Marriage 101! Gracias!
IRENE GARZA & VINCE PEREZ