This Week’s Featured Radio Podcast

Listen to Volume # 085 — “Ron Deal “The Remarriage Checkup” ” (Podcast)

“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Ron Deal
Broadcast Date: July 17, 2010

Ron Deal, author of “The Remarriage Checkup” wrote this book because he feels that every couple should have a fighting chance to succeed.  Remarried couples seem to have a more difficult time with this.  The remarriage divorce rate is 60 percent.  Remarriage with children have a divorce rate of 2/3 or 66.6 percent.

Ron wanted to help others beat these dismal odds.  Unrealistic expectations are brought in as baggage.  People make the assumption that THIS marriage is going to be good like the last one.  The flip side is if they just got out of a divorce, they don’t want to go back to pain this time, and this expectation is “I’ve learned from the mistakes of the past and won’t repeat” but you are going to be living with a different person and things that were not a problem with your first marriage will be now, and just the inverse.  Living with comparison creates unrealistic expectations and will cause disparity and conflict.

Remarried couples are twice as likely to discuss and plan how to discipline their children and stepchildren.  Many couples getting remarried have not had this conversation, but a plan is necessary!  Part of the expectation is “because we’re in love, this stuff will work itself out”.  People who remarry after a divorce try to find somebody different than their ex-spouse.  When they remarry after an excellent relationship, that may have ended in a spousal death for example, they may try to find a new partner much like their original spouse.

Having fun or “fun factor” is a significant influence in predicting a high-quality relationship not only between spouses, but in the whole family.  Playing together is very bonding.  It is important to plan for fun, and plan for conflict.  Agree on rules to follow when an argument arises.  For example, if one of you begins to raise your voice you agree to do this, or go into this room to discuss away from the family area.

In most churches, if you look around you will see that about one third of the couples there are in a “remarriage” relationship.  Sometimes it is easy to get discouraged in life.  In life, marriage is really one of God’s best recycling tools.  Marriage forces us to grow and interrelate, and become more like Him.  To become a father or mother is one of the greatest blessings in existence.  To remarry and try to get it right is an amazing thing, as you are willing to give it another try, and that special something inside of us is unwilling to give up.  Be open to your own heart, and learn from the past.  Bring God into your new relationship and your blended families from the start and you will bring success into it as well.

God loves you and wants you to be happy and successful.

Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.