Listen to Volume # 090 — “Bob and Starr Calo-oy – Marriage Tips” (Podcast)

“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Bob and Starr Calo-oy
Broadcast Date: August 21, 2010

Starr and Bob Calo-oy share ten tips to renewing intimacy in marriage.  Rediscover the fire of a love affair, marriage and careers, tips to dealing with your in-laws and more.

Get some good family films, sit down with your children and laugh together.  Eat some popcorn, have a “munch-fest” while watching your favorite movies.  A family that laughs together grows together.  If you don’t have kids, just have a couple “movie night”.  Just enjoy yourselves by being spontaneous.

Benefits of laughter:  reduces stress, stimulates immune system, increases natural pain killers in the blood, and reduces swelling in body, releases tension and raises spirits, stress hormones such as Cortizol are lessened, releases endorphins.

Rediscover the fire of love again.  Once time goes by in a relationship, it’s normal to get into an intimacy routine.  Inject all kinds of romantic ideas into your relationship.  Statistics show that now 53% of women are chasing their choice of man.  Take 10 seconds just looking into her/his eyes in love.  Touch tenderly when you pass one another-confirmation and affirmation that you are there and care.  Kiss 15 seconds passionately each day.  Use your words, actions and facial expressions to build one another up and not tear each other down.  Serve one another with no expectation of receiving anything in return.  Play with each other.  Play anything fun.  Include the kids if you can.  Hang out with other couples that are as in love or more in love than you are…not arguing couples.  Dance together and sing with each other.  Read some marriage self help books together, or to each other.  Men, lead the family in prayer.  Pray with your loved one.  Pay close and careful attention to her/him…listen.

Transparency is important in a marriage relationship…No Secrets.  You need to be open and in agreement when it comes to your shared finances.  There is no reason for secrecy.  You can discuss trade-offs and adapt your budget to acquire what you each desire.  Statistics show that 36 percent of men and 40 percent of women have lied to their spouse about what they paid for an item.  Plan a budget together.  Allow for flexibility.

Marriage and Career:  One of the largest problems in a marriage is when career takes precedence over the home relationship.  Agree on how much time is devoted to job and career, and still be able to have a life at home with family and spouse.  This is a major stumbling block when it comes to communication and feelings of frustration.  Make an agreement on who does what household chores and errands, vacation planning, who decided what money is spent where?

Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.

Listen to Volume # 089 — “Irv Loev – “Conflict Means I Love You” ” (Podcast)

“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Irv Loev
Broadcast Date: August 14, 2010

Irv Loev, author of “Conflict Means I Love You” is with us this morning, sharing relationship resources and advice from his new book.

There is a test for infantile men, as well as women.  Infantile because of the way they look at life.  They (men) don’t mind the wife working and taking care of everything.  They view life pretty much as a child and don’t mind being mothered.  This is often caused by:  Father is critical and rough to the boy, and mother pampers, father died early on and mother pampers him, youngest male child gets pampered because the nest is emptying.

When you look at one of these guys and ask them what they contribute to the relationship, their answer is warped and self-excused.  They really don’t believe that they are doing anything wrong, and feel that at least they are contributing love.  The wife going through this feels tremendous guilt, as there is nothing she can do to help him stand on his feet, and often lives in denial.  She often has a false sense of importance as he needs her.

These men used to be boys.  These women used to be girls.  As children, there are many things you should realize to prevent such a future.  Have you heard of the term “tough love”?  We often become enablers when we are parents.  Are you part of the problem you see?  You need to raise your child by preparing them for a tough world, and not always trying to fill their every need.  The more problem solving skills they can develop as a youngster, the more successful they will be later-on in life.  Stop feeling sorry for them, and guilty for their shortcomings.

Maybe your daughter/son used to take care of their parent while growing up.  In this need to be loved, and needed, they search for a man/woman that are infantile or immature.  As they grow older they will continue in this pattern until faced with the reality of their actions.

You may have a daughter or son that always calls for help, and seems unable to stand on their own even though they should be, they want the world of work to adjust to them.  They want life to be about them, and know that you as a parent will always “bail them out”.

Boundaries are All Important:  The parents should sit down and agree on guidelines to follow in this or that situation.  They should pray together, and forgive one another so they don’t constantly point the finger at one another.  Ego defense mechanisms “kick-in” and you will realize that you want to hurt one another, criticize your kids.  People need to go to parenting classes and learn about what is most important…independence – not just social skills and wants.

You will pick a partner different from you.  This doesn’t have to be destructive, just accept it as fact and move on.  You always pick somebody different anyway.  You can go-on to build a constructive and happy relationship.  You don’t have to be the same.

Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.

Listen to Volume # 088 — “Emma Viglucci – Affairs and Cheating” (Podcast)

“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Emma Viglucci
Broadcast Date: August 7, 2010

Emma Viglucci, licensed family and marriage therapist, speaks about affairs and cheating, what inspires and/or causes them.

Advice from Starr:

Couples should be encouraged to flirt.  Enjoy yourself by saying something positive to your loved one that you wouldn’t normally say.  Notice one another.

Some people have ideas that cheating is concerned with husband/wife relationship, and having intercourse with another person.  This is a narrow view of infidelity.  With today’s technology, it’s really any energy placed outside of the marriage such as internet pornography, phone calls, and texting even.  These things form an emotional relationship with someone other than their partner.

Most feel that as soon as the partner cheats “It’s the END!”  This is not necessarily true.  Couples can definitely survive infidelity.  Through education on what a true relationship is and should be, along with counseling, they can often survive these trials together.

One of the main reasons they turn, is the search for intensity in their life.  There is excitement in doing something naughty.  There is attention paid toward them that they aren’t getting from their partner at home.  This failure to connect emotionally is ALL.  They feel negative emotions and they are looking for any positive feedback outside of the relationship.

By sharing this special private and intimate part of your marriage relationship with someone else you are saying to them they are not special at all, and “I can do this with anybody and NOT you!”  “You are not special any longer to me.”  What kind of a spouse are you?  Do you show indifference to your spouse?  Do you ignore what they say and just wait until they finish talking so you can have your say?  If you want to affair proof your marriage you need to make them feel loved and appreciated.  You must show them that what they feel and say are important.

Often the hurt and betrayed partner has only hurt and pain in their heart.  This turns quickly to anger, as the scope of this infidelity penetrates.  However, reconciliation is often possible with commitment, time and work.  You will have to create good interaction dynamics.  As the betrayer, you will have to get used to being “checked-up” on.  You must realize that you ARE untrustworthy, and this can last months or years.  Be kind and loving.  Be strong, pleasant and understanding because it is worth the constant work.  Trust will slowly grow, and affection will as well in time.

If you find out your loved one has had an affair, instead of pursuing them…be pleasant and go about your life.  Do not play the victim role, as if you feel you are too ugly or fat.  Do not put yourself down.  It’s NOT your fault.  You don’t need to lose weight or have plastic surgery.  See why your partner might have done this from their point of view.  The relationship you both have created is to blame.  Often times the couples get stuck in the way they look at things.  Look at your partner and what do they see in you?  What do they see in the “other woman/man.”   What hunger is being fed somewhere else?

Bob says:  If you bake a cake using the same recipe…even in another kitchen you’ll still get that same cake!  You take the problems with you to every relationship and since they originate within, you can’t leave them behind.  YOU must change by acknowledging that the problem lies with your feelings and actions.

Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.

Listen to Volume # 085 — “Ron Deal “The Remarriage Checkup” ” (Podcast)

“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Ron Deal
Broadcast Date: July 17, 2010

Ron Deal, author of “The Remarriage Checkup” wrote this book because he feels that every couple should have a fighting chance to succeed.  Remarried couples seem to have a more difficult time with this.  The remarriage divorce rate is 60 percent.  Remarriage with children have a divorce rate of 2/3 or 66.6 percent.

Ron wanted to help others beat these dismal odds.  Unrealistic expectations are brought in as baggage.  People make the assumption that THIS marriage is going to be good like the last one.  The flip side is if they just got out of a divorce, they don’t want to go back to pain this time, and this expectation is “I’ve learned from the mistakes of the past and won’t repeat” but you are going to be living with a different person and things that were not a problem with your first marriage will be now, and just the inverse.  Living with comparison creates unrealistic expectations and will cause disparity and conflict.

Remarried couples are twice as likely to discuss and plan how to discipline their children and stepchildren.  Many couples getting remarried have not had this conversation, but a plan is necessary!  Part of the expectation is “because we’re in love, this stuff will work itself out”.  People who remarry after a divorce try to find somebody different than their ex-spouse.  When they remarry after an excellent relationship, that may have ended in a spousal death for example, they may try to find a new partner much like their original spouse.

Having fun or “fun factor” is a significant influence in predicting a high-quality relationship not only between spouses, but in the whole family.  Playing together is very bonding.  It is important to plan for fun, and plan for conflict.  Agree on rules to follow when an argument arises.  For example, if one of you begins to raise your voice you agree to do this, or go into this room to discuss away from the family area.

In most churches, if you look around you will see that about one third of the couples there are in a “remarriage” relationship.  Sometimes it is easy to get discouraged in life.  In life, marriage is really one of God’s best recycling tools.  Marriage forces us to grow and interrelate, and become more like Him.  To become a father or mother is one of the greatest blessings in existence.  To remarry and try to get it right is an amazing thing, as you are willing to give it another try, and that special something inside of us is unwilling to give up.  Be open to your own heart, and learn from the past.  Bring God into your new relationship and your blended families from the start and you will bring success into it as well.

God loves you and wants you to be happy and successful.

Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.

Listen to Volume # 083 — “Stephanie Coontz” (Podcast)

“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Stephanie Coontz
Broadcast Date: July 3, 2010

Stephanie Coontz, author of “How Love Conquered Marriage” offers advice for all couples.

In some ways love has conquered marriage as an institution.  Historically it was not based on love and free choice of young people.  It was about in-laws, and getting interfering ones, alliances were made, consolidation of treaties and deals, properties and business deals.  Dowries were a biggest infusion of wealth and cash a man would get in their life (ending about 1840).  Until the 1900’s when a woman married all of her worldly goods became her husband’s, not shared.  Marriage was often an unhappy end to innocence and love.

Arranged marriages were the norm for most of the world not too long ago.  As late as the sixteenth century, parents could legally dissolve a marriage that wasn’t approved, and could throw-out the offending partner.  Finally, marriage became about love and happiness and free choice.  Women were suddenly out of the control of men.  In the 19^th century, there was all of their rhetoric of love and sentimentality.  Beneath most of these marriages, the people were miserable, as men had the final say in all situations even in the household.  Men had the right to beat their wives until just over a hundred years ago.  Infidelity was absolutely tolerated for men until about 1900.  About then there was a huge outbreak in venereal disease and syphilis from prostitution and married men, this soon changed.

Love has weakened the old ideals of marriage.  When a marriage works today it is more friendly and competent than ever.  There were rigid rules about how marriage worked, and if you didn’t follow those rules you were out of luck and unhappy.  Now there are better ways to succeed, and also more ways to fail.  We need to work harder than couples of the past ever did.  We have more choices and they had fewer alternatives.  It is too easy to get a divorce now, and not shameful to have a baby out of wedlock.  It is common to have men and women living together WITH CHILDREN out of wedlock.

Lack of commitment in marriage spawns lack of commitment in all areas of your life.  We have a society with throw away containers and products, and generally we feel that way about our relationships.  Don’t like it (or them),  just move-on and find something or somebody that works for you.

High quality marriage?

In 1950-60 marriage was based on male domination of women.  In most states wives had no legal rights of marriage properties.  1963-65 earnings in 42 states were reported separated, and police couldn’t arrest a man reported as an assaulter unless he had been witnessed by a police officer.

It used to be that a good marriage was based on stereotypes; wives stayed at home and let me work.  Wives said you provide and I’ll take care of house and kids.  These days respect, flexibility and understanding by communication can make all of the difference in your marriage.

There are many ways to raise healthy kids.  Mostly be there for them by listening to them when they want to speak and spending time with them daily.  The children will feel more important and cared-for.  Men, teach your sons how to be a man, and how to treat others, especially ladies.  Teach them how to use tools, yard work as a family.  Quality time is important too, with interactions of quality.  You will model what a good husband looks like by the way you treat the mother of your children.  Teach them by showing your wife respect and how to listen to her.

With our aging population marriage has an impact with our family and society values.  Values of today’s youth are more supportive of caregiving than that of the 1960’s.  People are living longer and disability in the aged is going-down percentage-wise.  We are seeing more families that have a more inter-generational dependence each year…more cooperation to have a functioning household.

Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.

“William (Bill) Harley, Jr – “His Needs, Her Needs”" (Podcast)

“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Bill Harley
Broadcast Date: April 10, 2010

Bill Harley, author of “His Need, Her Needs” discovered through a series of studies over the years that not only was old school counseling not working, but that a new approach was necessary.  He came up with the notion that nobody got a divorce when they were ‘in love’, so he set himself to getting to know “what is romantic love?” and how to promote it in marriages.

Love has two forms: Caring love, a decision to help another person, to care for them and fulfill their needs for happiness.  Romantic love, which is a feeling.  Sometimes you can’t decide to be ‘in love’, but you CAN decide to care for them.

Without romantic love, marriage is not very fulfilling.  Bill’s primary goal in marriage counseling is to promote romantic love, or the feeling of romantic love.

Is what you are doing to care for your spouse, going to create romantic love for them?  Cooking for one may seem to the cook that this is an act of love, but to the one eating, it may not be.  One spouse may feel that working a lot and taking care of paying all of the bills is an act of love.  We need to be efficient to doing the things that trigger that kind of love.  Love bank: when you do something to make someone happy, you deposit love units.  If you can make many deposits, you can help reinforce that romantic love feeling.  This “thing” that makes them the most happy is fulfilling emotional needs.  If the wife and husband composed a list of such things, they will very often be totally different, so communication is KEY!

Every great marriage is both emotional and logical.  Logical such as you have values in common and are working together toward a common goal.  Emotional “togetherness” is a different bond, a pulling together and is more passionate.  The Logical marriage makes sense and will be mostly self-sustaining, where emotional togetherness usually falls by the wayside.

Two of the most import creations of romantic love for women are affection and conversation.  For men, it is sex and recreational companionship, which is a creation for romantic love.

Most marital affairs begin with a spouse discussing personal problems with a friend of the opposite sex.  To affair-proof your marriage, you need to not commiserate and complain to a friend of the opposite sex.  Try to let your spouse know what your emotional needs are, and if you need help, go to a therapist.

In order to meet some of these needs, you need to be one-on-one.  You need to have some alone time, at least 15 hours each week of specially scheduled time alone with each other.  Do this and you will have a mostly effortless marriage.  Spend this time giving your spouse your undivided attention.  Unless you do this on a weekly basis, you are not going to be meeting each other’s emotional needs.  This will renew and reinforce the bonds between you and weaken or prevent the bonds from being formed outside the marriage.

Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.

Listen to Volume # 068 — “Pastor Craig Caster” (Podcast)

“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Pastor Craig Caster
Broadcast Date: March 20, 2010

Pastor Craig Caster shares with us what a good healthy marriage looks like, and is known for his Biblically based approach to relationships.

It takes work and focus.  What is worth having without a little effort?

Most couples don’t feel like they had a good example from their parents of what a good marriage is like.  You are not raising a little boy or girl in your household; you are raising a little husband or wife.  You must model the behavior that you want them to accept.

As Christians, one of the first things we are on this earth for is to be His ambassador.  Unfortunately, when many Christians are inside their home many of these teachings are forgotten.  A husband and wife should glorify Christ in the way that they treat one another.

Honor your spouse.  Honor your children.  What can you do for one another to make them more comfortable, and to serve them?  When you serve others, real joy and contentment will enter your heart.  We have the most peace in our life when we are giving because we are acting like Our Father, God.  What is so amazing is that when we give in this way, it comes back to us manifold.

Marriage can be full of trials.  To cope successfully is to be willing to take the time and effort to learn.  Look for a Christian mentor to work with you and assist you with accountability and encouragement.  They can help you with practical applications.

When men are not getting the affirmation from their wives they get defensive.  They are not giving her what she needs to provide for His needs then.  It is a self-feeding, perpetual-motion problem.

Submit…Yield.  Put your wife first, men.  Wives, submit to your husband.  If you are both in the middle of an argument, if you drop out of the argument you will hear them talking.  They will not be able to hear how they sound, and how ugly they are being until you are silent.  If you will learn how to be quiet and have self control, then you will start to see a change.  Say to them “Please forgive me for being so ugly, I need to work on myself.”

At this point, you need to pray.  Pray not that your spouse gets nicer and isn’t so mean.  Pray instead to be a better spouse, and ask Him, God, for forgiveness, and to be able to show your spouse HIS nature in you.

Man and woman most need love.  Man’s great need is affirmation.  Woman needs her man to love her above all others, take care of the children, and treat her as the mother of his children, and cherish and nurture them.  The lady needs to be listened to, not fixed.  Most men want to fix the ladies’ problems, when all she really needs is a sounding board.

We are told by God to raise our children in The Word, a lead role in establishing the rules and punishment, to motivate the children to accept the punishment and discipline.  When the father does this, and creates the loving environment the family flourishes.

Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.

Listen to Volume # 065 — “Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz” (Podcast)

“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz
Broadcast Date: February 27, 2010

Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, author of “Building a Love that Lasts” share seven surprising secrets to a successful marriage.

Charles and Elizabeth were interviewing people in all of our states and many countries around the world about what makes a successful marriage successful.

Understanding what makes love and relationships last is easy, but most couples won’t do these things.  In the end, being in love is easy, but making love last is hard work.  Success is nothing but an accumulation of doing the little things day to day, build on that and treat them with dignity.  Build on success and don’t just tackle the big things.

Become their Number one supporter and you will both become the best you can be.  Talk about anything and everything; in the end your marriage will be considerably strengthened by doing so.  Who else will hold your hand in the night when you are undergoing life’s stresses?  Listen to what they say and feel, and know that this is a sanctuary away from the attacking world…they are safe and okay with you (a safe haven).  Don’t go to bed mad with each other.  Learn how to set and meet common goals.  Approach all financial problems with teamwork; however, don’t just be a business partnership.  So many have a mistaken notion that ideal couples don’t have to deal with tough things or trials… NOT TRUE!!!  Most of the best marriages have taken trials as opportunities to grow stronger.

Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.

Listen to Volume # 061 — “Scott and Rosie Ybarra” (Podcast)

“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Rosie and Scott Ybarra
Broadcast Date: January 30, 2010

Scott and Rosie Ybarra, students of Bob and Starr Calo-oy’s Mariage101 class, share their amazing success story.

They were best friends that fell in love over time.  They had met in San Antonio, nine months later they were married.  They looked at each other and each said they were willing to commit to be together forever.  Rosie has valued marriage as a covenant, and knew that it is something to be treasured and valued.  Scott felt the same way.  Scott saw how Rosie’s relationship with her daughter was so very special and loving, and wanted to be part of that.  They have now been married 19 years.

After marriage, they had two children together.  One night, tragedy hit their marriage and “smacked them in the face”.   They were in Navy Housing, and Scott went downstairs to put the kids in bed.  The boys jumped into the bunk bed to hurry and hide from Dad.  Scott looked down at his son and saw that he was turning blue, with balloons in his mouth.  Scott, who had just become registered as an EMT with CPR, tried to remove the balloons without success.

He ran to his neighbor so they could call 911.  Scott kept trying to get air to his son; it took 55 minutes to get an airway open.  He was med-evacuated to a hospital an hour and an half drive away.

Rosie was told by a manager at work to leave and go home; there was an emergency.  Rosie could get no answers from anyone.  When she approached her home she saw firefighters and ambulances.  Panicking, she asked what’s going on?

At the hospital, their son was tested for brain activity.   She saw people asking Scott and the doctor’s questions.  It wasn’t doctors asking, but investigators trying to see if Scott was to blame for the death.  All she could think at this time was I just lost my son, we just lost our son, how dare they!?!

There was no blame, and they needed to support one another.

While they were at the hospital a chaplain was assigned to them.  He said cling to each other, because divorce is high in bereaved parents.  It is so easy to blame each other, because it’s your job to protect your children.

After returning, it was a lot of “you do your thing and I’ll do mine”.   They were very careful and vigilant with their children; other family members said they were overprotective for their living children.

When their new baby was 5 months old they began to pull apart from one another.  She says that it was a slow wearing of their relationship.  One day she made up her mind to fight, not to give up on their marriage.  She was embarrassed and scared to call Starr and Bob for counseling.  She emailed and Starr called immediately.

Starr and Bob counseled them and quickly gave them hope.  They are now going strong and attending marriage classes, applying the lessons and using them daily.  They have grown together emotionally, physically and spiritually.  They couldn’t believe the many hours of help and all for free!  Starr and Bob have FREE marriage counseling and classes.  God Bless them for the lives and relationships they have had such a positive impact-on.  For consultation, (210) 521-8668.

Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.

David Reyna