“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Irv Loev
Broadcast Date: August 14, 2010
Irv Loev, author of “Conflict Means I Love You” is with us this morning, sharing relationship resources and advice from his new book. (more…)
“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Emma Viglucci
Broadcast Date: August 7, 2010
Emma Viglucci, licensed family and marriage therapist, speaks about affairs and cheating, what inspires and/or causes them.
“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Ron Deal
Broadcast Date: July 17, 2010
Ron Deal, author of “The Remarriage Checkup” wrote this book because he feels that every couple should have a fighting chance to succeed. Remarried couples seem to have a more difficult time with this. The remarriage divorce rate is 60 percent. Remarriage with children have a divorce rate of 2/3 or 66.6 percent.
Ron wanted to help others beat these dismal odds. Unrealistic expectations are brought in as baggage. People make the assumption that THIS marriage is going to be good like the last one. The flip side is if they just got out of a divorce, they don’t want to go back to pain this time, and this expectation is “I’ve learned from the mistakes of the past and won’t repeat” but you are going to be living with a different person and things that were not a problem with your first marriage will be now, and just the inverse. Living with comparison creates unrealistic expectations and will cause disparity and conflict.
Remarried couples are twice as likely to discuss and plan how to discipline their children and stepchildren. Many couples getting remarried have not had this conversation, but a plan is necessary! Part of the expectation is “because we’re in love, this stuff will work itself out”. People who remarry after a divorce try to find somebody different than their ex-spouse. When they remarry after an excellent relationship, that may have ended in a spousal death for example, they may try to find a new partner much like their original spouse.
Having fun or “fun factor” is a significant influence in predicting a high-quality relationship not only between spouses, but in the whole family. Playing together is very bonding. It is important to plan for fun, and plan for conflict. Agree on rules to follow when an argument arises. For example, if one of you begins to raise your voice you agree to do this, or go into this room to discuss away from the family area.
In most churches, if you look around you will see that about one third of the couples there are in a “remarriage” relationship. Sometimes it is easy to get discouraged in life. In life, marriage is really one of God’s best recycling tools. Marriage forces us to grow and interrelate, and become more like Him. To become a father or mother is one of the greatest blessings in existence. To remarry and try to get it right is an amazing thing, as you are willing to give it another try, and that special something inside of us is unwilling to give up. Be open to your own heart, and learn from the past. Bring God into your new relationship and your blended families from the start and you will bring success into it as well.
God loves you and wants you to be happy and successful.
Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.
“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Stephanie Coontz
Broadcast Date: July 3, 2010
Stephanie Coontz, author of “How Love Conquered Marriage” offers advice for all couples. (more…)
“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Bill Harley
Broadcast Date: April 10, 2010
Bill Harley, author of “His Need, Her Needs” discovered through a series of studies over the years that not only was old school counseling not working, but that a new approach was necessary. He came up with the notion that nobody got a divorce when they were ‘in love’, so he set himself to getting to know “what is romantic love?” and how to promote it in marriages. (more…)
“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Pastor Craig Caster
Broadcast Date: March 20, 2010
Pastor Craig Caster shares with us what a good healthy marriage looks like, and is known for his Biblically based approach to relationships.
It takes work and focus. What is worth having without a little effort?
Most couples don’t feel like they had a good example from their parents of what a good marriage is like. You are not raising a little boy or girl in your household; you are raising a little husband or wife. You must model the behavior that you want them to accept.
As Christians, one of the first things we are on this earth for is to be His ambassador. Unfortunately, when many Christians are inside their home many of these teachings are forgotten. A husband and wife should glorify Christ in the way that they treat one another.
Honor your spouse. Honor your children. What can you do for one another to make them more comfortable, and to serve them? When you serve others, real joy and contentment will enter your heart. We have the most peace in our life when we are giving because we are acting like Our Father, God. What is so amazing is that when we give in this way, it comes back to us manifold.
Marriage can be full of trials. To cope successfully is to be willing to take the time and effort to learn. Look for a Christian mentor to work with you and assist you with accountability and encouragement. They can help you with practical applications.
When men are not getting the affirmation from their wives they get defensive. They are not giving her what she needs to provide for His needs then. It is a self-feeding, perpetual-motion problem.
Submit…Yield. Put your wife first, men. Wives, submit to your husband. If you are both in the middle of an argument, if you drop out of the argument you will hear them talking. They will not be able to hear how they sound, and how ugly they are being until you are silent. If you will learn how to be quiet and have self control, then you will start to see a change. Say to them “Please forgive me for being so ugly, I need to work on myself.”
At this point, you need to pray. Pray not that your spouse gets nicer and isn’t so mean. Pray instead to be a better spouse, and ask Him, God, for forgiveness, and to be able to show your spouse HIS nature in you.
Man and woman most need love. Man’s great need is affirmation. Woman needs her man to love her above all others, take care of the children, and treat her as the mother of his children, and cherish and nurture them. The lady needs to be listened to, not fixed. Most men want to fix the ladies’ problems, when all she really needs is a sounding board.
We are told by God to raise our children in The Word, a lead role in establishing the rules and punishment, to motivate the children to accept the punishment and discipline. When the father does this, and creates the loving environment the family flourishes.
Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.
“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz
Broadcast Date: February 27, 2010
Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, author of “Building a Love that Lasts” share seven surprising secrets to a successful marriage. (more…)
“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Host: Starr Calo-oy
Topic: Intimacy Rulebook
Broadcast Date: October 4, 2009
We have learned that “This is what I want” and “This is what I don’t like” and bring that into our relationships. How you relate to your parents and how they relate to you has everything to do with the direction your marriage is going. Your birth order also helps define your Rulebook. If you are “firstborn” or “onlyborn” you are more of a perfectionist, very witty, happy and know exactly what to do. There are power mongers and people pleasers. “Middle-child” is more accommodating and less aggressive. “Last born” children are often coddled and babied, and like everything their own way. When you marry, you each end-up blending your sometimes Very Different Rulebooks. EDITING YOUR RULEBOOK: 1)Figure out your personal rulebook. 2)Figure out your spouse’s rulebook. 3)Get rid of unrealistic expectations. 4)Don’t allow a parent’s shortcomings. 5)Do something you wouldn’t do.
Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.
“Marriage 101” on KKYX Radio 680am San Antonio, Texas
Hosts: Starr & Bob Calo–oy
Guest: Steve and Debbie Wilson
Broadcast Date: January 16, 2010
David Reyna, Pastor of Calvary Chapel Southside, speaks about relationships in marriage and the importance of children and corrective behavior.
If you can help monitor and coach your children’s activities and their entertainment, you can help lessen the strife in your home and marriage relationship.
He shares his testimony of drugs and such as a young man with a slogan “never sober” and came to know God’s voice in an auditorium at an Amway meeting. At this time he had no Christian support with family or friends.
He came back to his drinking and carousing and debauchery. For about a year and a half he was back in his real life but wasn’t really happy. He says that he didn’t realize what had happened, and went through the motions. The Lord was saying “what are you doing? You have to get where I want you to be”. He says it was a journey and a process that took one year. Throughout this time, pain and confusion was increasing, and God would direct his attention to what he needed, and his friends were coming to know God. Eventually he was done with his old life, and he turned to The Lord. One day his friend and mentor wrote him a letter, and God spoke to David saying “this time you need to listen” and it was a perfect time for him to receive The Word. From that moment on he found a church and has never turned back.
He says that there are many resources that we can use that will help us be better spouses and parents, and who are we to not be our best for those we love? Parentingisaministry.org is a wonderful resource
Jesus laid down his life for us, so we should put our wives first! If we have a resource that is limited to only one person, as husbands we need to make sure our wives get it. As man of the household we pretty much feel that as head of household we get the lion’s portion…which is un-Christ-like! Put your loved one first, men, and you will reap the blessings promised by God to the leaders of the house.
Women, step back and allow your husband to step forward, and when he does, yield to his authority. Let him be what God says he should be. God put the husband in the role of spiritual and household leader, and act Christ like. You will receive more blessings in that support role as partner when he does his part as well. You are better able to focus your energies that way as a God loving and God fearing family. In our day to day lives we make those sacrifices for what we want. We want those season game tickets, men, and will save that money or do without something else to get it. Ladies, you want to get that special outfit or that expensive hairdo, and will crimp and save to do it. Your spiritual life is the same! You will need to make allowances for what you wish to accomplish.
Men, if you’re not teaching your family the Word of God, and not leading by example, you’re going to get lost on a personal level and as a husband/father. You can’t teach what you don’t know and you can’t lead where you won’t go. You can be in God’s loving arms willingly and lean into them and be sheltered by them, in his healing and blessed light. If you do what you’re supposed to do, your blessed marital union will prosper and multiply. Whatever you have been provided will be shared with everyone around you, and will grow and grow as a fire’s heat is felt not only by those sitting beside it, but by those in sight and passing by. Surrender to God as willing partners and it is that simple, pray and receive! Sometimes men have a tendency to live like Adam, don’t lean on your own understanding, you’re heart is wicked and deceitful, tainted by the desires of the flesh. Use the filter of the word of God, and that standard will show you the way in all aspects of life. What was truth then is Always truth, regardless of the society, year or country. God welcomes all and his word is eternal!
Starr & Bob Calo-oy created Marriage101.net to offer help, encouragement and counseling to couples. Through weekly Radio Shows on KKYX 680am San Antonio, they host special guests who cover many unique topics concerning marriage. They also have weekly TV Segments on KENS TV 5 San Antonio where they share marriage tips. All of these programs are archived as Radio Podcasts and TV Podcasts for your easy listening. Visit their sister site, CaregiversAdvice.net for caregiving help for your special loved ones. Starr has written Four Books on Caregiving.